


Beautiful Soul

by seitsemannen



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, Original Universe, denial as deep as Marianas Trench, taming a player
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:45:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5225759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seitsemannen/pseuds/seitsemannen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson has a thing for beauty, and he always goes for the most stunning face in the crowd at a bar or a club. He doesn't do long-term, and he isn't interested in the persons. He doesn't need that to change.</p><p>It's just that lately he's been noticing how beautiful Mark has become, and change isn't about whether he wants it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a video I saw on the internet about Jinyoung whispering with Jackson, then Jackson singing the chorus to Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul and Mark coming to hit Jinyoung because of it. Fan theory is that it's Mark's favourite song, which is why he went to hit Jinyoung. I liked the theory.
> 
> This is what my mind cooked up from the thought of Jackson singing Beautiful Soul to Mark. Please enjoy!

It was in no way a secret that Jackson had an eye for beauty. He was very appreciative of pretty faces and attractive bodies, and that was obvious by the way he more often than not was dragging good-looking guys and girls for a few rounds of naked body appreciation on nights out. He always got the most stunning face from the crowd, not settling for anything less. Jackson only gave compliments when it was well deserved and he hardly ever had to leave empty-handed, only when the most pretty one was already taken or the person was a total loon when they opened their mouths… Not that Jackson usually got interested enough by a face that he'd bother to know them as a person, so they had to be really obviously crazy or an asshole to turn Jackson away. It wasn't anything personal, just that his priorities were in beauty and for one night nothing else really mattered.

 

He did not always just have one night things - Jackson dated every now and then, had an eye-candy on his elbow for a few weeks before he got bored of the person or found a more captivating face. Even though or exactly because he hooked up and was in very shallow relationships, Jackson did his best to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. He was never rude, he always respected the gorgeous people he took with him and he always made it clear what he wanted and what he was ready to give, careful not to give false assumptions or let anyone expect too much. He prided himself on being honest.

 

The members were all comfortable with one another, so Jackson did not hesitate to tell them about this or that pretty boy or girl he had snatched this or that time, as it was a popular topic to talk about once the cameras were off. He was by far the one who got the most action, but not the only one. It was just a matter of most of the others preferring longer term things that were a bit trickier to have and keep up as an idol. But it wasn't a problem amongst them that different members had different opinions about relationships, they still respected one another and understood that not everyone was the same. All the members knew Jackson’s ways, knew he went for the best looking thing, and they all accepted it as a thing that was.

 

There was one face that had caught Jackson's eye often lately, but unlike the others, this one wasn't for him to just charm and enjoy, as it wasn’t a face in the crowd at a bar or a club. Between comebacks, dance practices and variety shows Jackson started noticing the beauty of Mark more and more. He had always known that their members all had their charms and they were all very good-looking, if not to Jackson’s taste. But Mark was to Jackson’s taste, and the way he was noticing the older was evolving to be the way he noticed the most beautiful thing around, very much unlike the passive or objective or not-interested-but-they’re-gorgeous way he had noticed Mark before. It had also some difference to the way he noticed all those attractive people at bars and clubs, because he knew Mark as a person and he knew there were more interesting depths to his persona.

 

If Jackson wanted someone, he just went for it. He wanted something from Mark, so he should just go for it, right? So Jackson tried his usual tactic, appreciating the beauty out loud.

 

“You have really nice body proportions.”

 

Mark turned to face Jackson from where he was changing his t-shirt in the middle of their shared dorm room, just about to drag a clean shirt over his head and hide his thin but taut upper body again under the loose, form-concealing top. Mark paused for a moment, looking surprised before flashing a smile and finishing putting the shirt on, hiding the gorgeous view in the process.

 

“Thanks man.”

 

Mark turned to leave the room to get something or other from the kitchen and Jackson pursed his lips in disappointment. Not the reaction he had hoped for. It wasn't even that much of a reaction. Mark had barely acknowledged his words at all.

  
  
  


He tried harder next time, right after the second Markson show they did for the After School Club, the one where the MC’s had asked Jackson if thought he was more good-looking than Mark and Jackson had outright denied it. Mark hadn't looked like he believed Jackson at all, either honestly thinking Jackson was the more good-looking one of the two of them, which was totally absurd as Mark obviously was the looker of the group, or Mark thought Jackson was exaggerating or even lying for the sake of the show, which wasn't true either. Jackson had to make sure Mark knew he had been speaking the absolute truth.

 

So Jackson hurried after Mark after the show as the other was making his way to their dressing rooms. Jackson grabbed Mark by an elbow, pulling the other boy to face him, a blank if not a tiny bit curious expression on the older boy’s face.

 

“I meant it. You are way more better looking than I am,” Jackson stated, trying to convey his sincerity.

 

“Sure, okay.”

 

Mark didn’t look convinced. He nodded alright, and smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.

 

The first time Jackson had complimented Mark and Mark had just shrugged it off, Jackson had figured Mark had dismissed him simply because the other got told he was very good-looking on a daily basis and he was so used to it that it wasn’t a big deal even if it was Jackson telling him the same thing. That might be, but now it also seemed that the older boy didn’t put much value on Jackson’s words, or take them very seriously. It was a shame, and Jackson felt like pouting, so he did once Mark dislodged his grip and continued his way to the dressing rooms.

  
  
  


It wasn't supposed to be a big deal at all, but the thought of Mark not putting any value on his words felt bad. Everyone knew he had an eye for beauty, and a blind man would have thought Mark to be beautiful. Mark should know by now that Jackson only gave these kind of compliments when he meant them, and he never gave them to anyone not deserving of them.

 

Jackson kept doing what he usually did, enjoying beauty in the form of nameless faces in the sheets of motel rooms, but it did not bring him the same pleasure as before. They were stunning, they made delicious noises between Jackson’s legs and it was nice, licking a trail up their sexy bodies, but that was all it was. Nice. For some reason it did not feel like enough anymore, it wasn't everything Jackson wanted. He would have a smashing blonde on her knees sucking his dick, lovely face tilted just right to grant Jackson the perfect view, but his focus kept slipping away from the girl giving him everything he should want to familiar narrow shoulders and taut stomach muscles that were only visible from the right angles during their flips and dance moves.

 

Jackson tried to favor guys after that, getting some gorgeous upper bodies to twist underneath him, but it still wasn't what he really wanted, and he knew it. He just wasn't ready to admit what he wanted instead. He started to take less beauties out for a ride though, just not feeling it because his mind was elsewhere.

  
  
  


He and Mark had been watching a late night movie in their living room with Yugyeom and Bambam, the four boys laying half on top of each other on the large black sofa they had. Jackson had been super tired after sleeping only a few hours per night for the whole week, so he had been yawning through the movie before he eventually fell asleep where he was laying in Mark's lap, head resting on the older boy's chest. It wasn't until the movie had ended and Yugyeom and Bambam had gotten up from the sofa to discuss the last cliffhanger in the kitchen when Mark prodded Jackson awake, telling him in a soft, low voice that the movie was over.

 

Jackson had barely been aware of where he was in his half asleep state, humming a bit to indicate he was in some state of awareness. The little awareness he had managed to muster was focused on how Mark's jawline and cheekbones were showcased in the blue light and soft shadows created by the blue glow of the tv. The words were escaping Jackson’s mouth in a quiet exhale before he realized he wanted to say them.

 

“You're beautiful.”

 

Mark snorted, dismissing Jackson’s words with a shrug of his shoulder, before dumping Jackson from his lap to get up and go into the kitchen to join the maknaes.

  
  
  


Jackson didn't regret telling Mark he was beautiful. It was the truth. It was just that he never really used that exact word on anyone. “Stunning”, “gorgeous”, “pretty” yes, but not “beautiful”. He had never really thought about it before, but never had he felt like describing any other person than his mother “beautiful”, and his mother was a special case.

 

So maybe he was freaking out because Mark had become something else in his eyes than what he had had among friends or lovers before, so what? It was not like it meant he was in love with Mark or anything. It just meant that Mark was a very important special kind of a friend. Never mind that Jackson felt that he was closer as friends with both Jinyoung and Jaebum and thus could not in good conscience call Mark his best friend. Mark was different, but only because Jackson found Mark beautiful AND he was a good friend AND Jackson would definitely not say no to sleeping with him. It was just the combination of these things. It was unusual, but nothing to get worried about, right?

 

Anyway, moving on, it really hurt that Mark kept dismissing his compliments like this. Jackson would have to make Mark understand that it was really how he felt and he was being totally serious about Mark’s beauty.

  
  
  


Jackson hated to dance around a topic, which is why he went to confront Mark immediately the next day when they had a moment alone in their dorm room after having had dance practice for the whole day.

 

“Why don’t you take me seriously when I tell you you’re beautiful?”

 

Mark seemed surprised at the sudden change in topic as they had been talking about where to go to eat just the moment before. He thought about his answer for a moment, one hand coming up to ruffle the short light-coloured hair at his neck in a way that made Jackson want to run his fingers through it.

 

“Uhh, you kind of say stuff like that to people all the time?”

 

Mark was blunt in his words like was to be expected, but Jackson felt that they were a little cruel.

 

“It's different when it's to you! You're not just another pretty face from a bar!” That wasn't everything Jackson wanted to say, but he just skipped to the last part. “...And I don't call just anyone beautiful. It's a real compliment.”

 

Mark looked at Jackson owlishly, blinking his eyes slowly a couple of times before huffing a laugh. Jackson felt vulnerable, so he reacted by bursting out.

 

“What?!”

 

The smile Mark gave him was a sad one, and he shook his head, bringing his hands up as an universal signal of “calm down”. Jackson did not like this smile of Mark's. It was kind of twisted, self-deprecating somehow.

 

“Nothing, it's just that what you said reminded me of this one song I used to listen a lot to when I was younger.” That wasn't all, Jackson could see it from Mark's face, but the older boy didn't give him a chance to inquire about it.

 

“But okay, I get it. I'm not someone you're picking up from a bar. You mean it as an honest compliment from a friend. I'll take it seriously, so thank you. Really.”

 

That's… Not it, was what Jackson wanted to say. But he didn't, and then Mark was giving him a friend-hug, and then the older boy was running out of the room saying he needed to ask the others if they also wanted to go with them to the noodle shop, and Jackson was left there standing in the middle of their room, a confusing maelstrom of feelings rummaging around in his chest.

  
  
  


If any of Jackson's friends ever asked him advice on how to deal with maybe having a crush on their same-sex friend, he would tell them to man or woman up and go confess having a crush. What's the worst that could happen? Denying having some feelings was both useless and stupid!

 

The thing about advice is that it’s easy to give and difficult to follow.

 

So Jackson's first method of dealing with maybe having some special feelings for Mark was denial so absolute that he didn't give himself the opportunity to even consider those feelings. So he tried to fuck the problem away. He threw himself into finding attractive company again, trying very hard to find someone else than Mark that he'd consider beautiful, but failing. But if he continued to have sex with a lot of attractive people it would surely start feeling right again, right?

 

He could keep up having nameless sex almost every night for about two weeks before he gave up after a failure of a night where he thought of a narrow beautiful face and a curving jawline while he had a gorgeous man giving him the time of his life, and ended up barely concealing the name into a groan as it left his lips as he came.

 

He couldn't even jerk it anymore without Mark coming to his mind at some point, no matter how hard he tried to think about anything or anyone else.

 

Okay, so maybe one-night stands were not his thing anymore. He was ready to admit that. Maybe he just needed someone in his life. Maybe he just needed someone to hold dear because of who they were as a person instead of just looks. There was this girl among the trainees who had been casting him long looks when he walked by in the halls. She was Jackson’s type, funny and fit, and she was a nice person. She was definitely someone who was more than just her admittedly pretty face, and she was interested, so Jackson started doing the necessary unnecessary steps of courting her.

 

The other members were making fun of him, but he was really going slowly this time. She wasn’t a fuckbuddy, they weren’t even holding hands until after two weeks. She laughed at the right points and joked along with him. Jackson was very considerate of her, treating her like a princess, and it seemed like they were a well matched pair. Jackson kept telling himself that deeper feelings would come in time. It was fine. After a few weeks of seeing her around the other members were starting to accept that she wasn’t just an eye-candy on his side and the jokes changed from sceptic to teasing.

 

The problem was that whenever Mark was around, it was difficult for Jackson to be a considerate boyfriend. And Mark was around a lot. Whenever Mark entered the room, Jackson’s focus would always turn to him. He couldn’t help it, even if he tried to listen to her melodical voice he would be watching Mark from the corner of his eye. On top of that he immediately felt guilty if he was holding her hand and Mark was there to see it.

 

But the worst thing was that there was no judgement in Mark’s eyes, no disappointment, nothing to indicate that he had a reaction at all to Jackson dating someone seriously. It hurt, and it was confusing. Why did he need Mark to care about who he dated or didn’t date? Why did he want Mark to be bothered by him holding hands with a pretty girl? Mark was his friend, he should be happy Mark accepted his relationship.

 

He really tried to ignore Mark, to ignore these feelings, but he wasn’t that good of an actor, and she was smart. She gave him some time, but when it was obvious that his focus would never be fully on her, she called it quits after a month of dating.

  
  
  


It was horrible when Mark came to see if Jackson needed consoling after the break-up. Jackson didn’t need consoling, he felt guilty about feeling relieved that his short relationship with her was over. Most of all, Jackson felt unnecessarily angry at Mark for something the other was not in fault for, but Upset Jackson did not care. He wanted to shake Mark by his annoyingly nicely sculpted shoulders and yell that this was the older boy’s fault, he had ruined Jackson for everyone by making Jackson only notice him.

 

But he didn’t, and instead snapped at Mark over something irrelevant and escaped to Jinyoung’s room for the rest of the week. The singer looked over to the stormy expression on Jackson’s face as he entered the room and opted to say nothing, allowing the rapper to stay in his room even though his huffing and complaining made Jinyoung’s studying that much more difficult.

  
  
  


The fight was a good excuse to avoid Mark for a few days. Jackson spent those days finally coming in some kinds of terms with his feelings and annoying Jinyoung by spending most of his time in the singer’s room and in a very bad mood. On the fifth day after he snapped at Mark and started avoiding him he finally felt confident enough in his own feelings to start talking about them, so that evening when he was lying on Jinyoung’s bed, he finally said it out loud.

 

“I think I like like Mark.”

 

Jinyoung quickly turned in his chair where he was working by his desk to face Jackson, looking at him with a surprised expression on his face.

 

“Okay..?”

 

“What do you mean ‘okay’ Jinyoung, it’s certainly not okay! This is horrible! I can’t sleep around without thinking of him! I can’t date a girl because every time Mark enters the room I just lose all common sense or something! I can’t believe he’s the only person I consider beautiful besides my mother! Jinyoung this really isn’t okay!”

 

Jinyoung lost a lot of points in Jackson’s eyes by laughing at his slight panic, but the singer soon resumed a serious expression and moved to sit on his bed so he could lay a comforting hand on Jackson’s shoulders.

 

“I’ve never seen you like this Jackson, it’s refreshing and kind of very funny. But okay I’ll be serious now. So what was your problem exactly? You can’t sleep around or date anyone else? Why not ask him if he’d maybe like to date you?”

 

“I don’t know! I never like anyone like this! It hurts, is it supposed to hurt?” Jackson brought his fingers through his hair, frustration and desperation apparent in the tone of his voice. This was not a situation he wanted to be in, but it felt good to have Jinyoung listen and to get these thoughts voiced out loud. ”I don’t know if I even want to go out with Mark! What would we do? I can’t court him, that’d just be too weird, and we know each other too well to do that awkward getting-to-know-each-other stuff!”

 

“Yeah, that’s right. If you’d go out with Mark it wouldn’t be dating like that. You’ve been friends for years, you work together and you live together, it’s not like there’s going to be much mystery there, but there doesn’t need to be. Don’t think about it too much. Aside from the physical side I’m assuming you want, your day-to-day interactions won’t probably change too much, they’ll just have a different meaning to them. Love is not about the dates, the fireworks and butterflies. It’s more than just attraction or the chase of someone. It’s about wanting to be with someone in the long run.”

 

Jackson was nodding along as Jinyoung talked, until his mind snagged on a word the slightly younger boy used.

 

“Hold on - love? Nobody said anything about being in love with anyone.”

 

The look Jinyoung gave him was deprecating.

 

“I inferred. It’s not like you to be this clueless. It’s cute, but it’s bringing a lot of unhappiness both to you and Mark, and thus the whole group, so I feel the right to meddle.”

 

Jackson sputtered for a moment, trying to find a good argument against Jinyoung, but failing to come up with anything that would sound convincing. The smile on Jinyoung’s face was of a parent watching a child patiently and it annoyed Jackson a lot.

 

“I’ll have you know that I hate you.”

 

Jinyoung’s laughter was light and he ruffled Jackson’s hair in a way that communicated that he totally didn’t believe Jackson. Jackson puffed his cheeks, knowing he was fighting a losing fight trying to convince Jinyoung of his everlasting hate for how the younger apparently read him like an open book.

 

“No you don’t. And you better be super grateful because I’m basically giving you the way to Mark’s heart on a silver platter, and he’ll hate me for it for a moment, but it’s the end result that counts, really.”

 

Jinyoung took a dramatic break, inhaling slowly before turning to give Jackson a mischievous smile. Jackson did not know what to expect, but he was wary.

 

“There's this love song Mark really likes that played a lot in the radio when he was younger. It'd be totally awesome if you could include it into your confession. As far as I understand the lyrics, it's also quite fitting to this situation. I'll send a link for it to you on Kakao.”

 

Jinyoung seemed to be excited about the possibility to play a wingman. Jackson did not understand the singer’s confidence. Although it was flattering he thought Jackson could just charm his way into Mark's heart, Jackson had already tried kind of flirting with Mark and that hadn't gone over too well.

 

“You seem so sure that all will go well and he'll straight away accept my feelings, but what if he doesn't? What if he rejects me?”

 

Jackson's voice was a bit too small and vulnerable for his liking, but he really needed more reassurance than this. This being-in-love thing was a lot scarier than it looked like in the movies.

 

Jinyoung had a serious expression on his face, but his eyes has an amused spark to them. It was like he was the narrator who knew everything that was going on and who was amused by the fumbling of the characters in the play, trying to decide just how much to help them out or if he should just leave them to fend for themselves.

 

Apparently Jinyoung was a merciful god slash narrator, and he had pity on Jackson.

 

“I'm confident because I've known he's liked you for months now and I've been waiting for you to get your shit together and start noticing him. Took you longer than I thought, so I think Mark's suffered more than enough already. Go get your show together, tell him how you feel and make him happy. Or don't, I'm a friend, not a cop. But I think you'll be good together.”

 

Jinyoung shrugged his explanation off like he hadn't just blown Jackson's mind.

  
  
  


Jackson waited until the next day to start to confess. He hadn’t really prepared much, figuring that it would just happen in some kind of a way while he was apologizing for being a dick and starting the fight six days earlier. But he had looked up the lyrics to the song Jinyoung linked him in case he needed to use it. He wasn’t quite ready to start serenading outside their window or anything so he found it unlikely, but Jinyoung seemed to know his shit so it didn’t do any harm to be prepared.

 

In the end when Jackson got Mark alone in their room after practice, he forgot that he was supposed to be leading up to the subject by apologizing and stuff like that and just blurted it out.

 

“I like you. Will you go out with me?”

 

Jackson was holding Mark by his shoulders in what was meant to be a sincere gesture, so he could feel Mark's posture stiffening. Shit. What if Jinyoung was wrong and Jackson fucked up in a big way now?

 

“Is this some kind of a prank?”

 

Instead of the amusement or anger Jackson was expecting to hear in Mark's voice, it was a quiet, small voice that spoke more of vulnerability and sadness than anger. And the way Mark was looking at Jackson right now, god he wished the older boy would stop giving him such a look immediately. It was a guarded look, full of distrust and fear of getting hurt.

 

It hurt Jackson a lot that this was Mark's first expectation of him, that he'd make a joke, that in no way was it possible that Jackson Wang was serious about something like love. He guessed he deserved this, but it still hurt to be shoved into his face. The hurt made him upset, and Upset Jackson was not the best at handling social situations.

 

“I’m-- why would it be a prank! Do you think I don't take these things seriously? I'm saying these words earnestly and I'm saying them to you. Reject me if you don't want me, but don't insult me by insinuating that I'm not being serious right now.”

 

Jackson wasn't too far gone in his anger and hurt, so he noticed how the look in the older boy’s eyes changed. The guarded look had given in to a more fearful one where Mark was eyeing him carefully, like a wild animal caught in a trap. If Jackson didn't believe Jinyoung's words about Mark liking him back he would have stormed out of the room already, but with the assurances of the younger singer Jackson was controlling his instinct to running away from an upsetting situation. He was shaking with anger that he was using to cover his own hurt and vulnerability, but he didn't move. He waited for Mark's answer.

 

“I'm-- I-- um.” There was a long pause, the older boy still grasping to form a sentence with meaningful words. Jackson could feel the slight tremor in Mark's body. “So um… What is it that you're saying? You like me? Like, you want to sleep with me kind of liking, or, um.” Another pause. “‘Cause I don't want to, um. Be a pretty boy in your bed or, uhh, a nice guy on your arm for a few weeks…”

 

“Mark.” Jackson's voice was shaking with feeling as he interrupted the other's babble and brought one hand up to cup Mark's face. “I think I'm in love with you, and I'm scared as hell about that because I've never been in love and my technique of handling it so far has been shit. But I don't want another pretty face, and I don't want just anyone to hold, because I want you and your beautiful soul.”

 

Mark's beautiful face collapsed into an ugly expression of tears and happiness at Jackson's words and he launched himself at Jackson to tackle the other into a hug, letting out a few laughs as he probably recognized the reference in the last sentence Jackson had said. Jackson couldn't help the few tears that escaped his eyes as he held the obviously crying older boy, taking this as an answer as good as any. Jackson had no idea how he himself felt right now, the fear that was churning his stomach gone but he still felt so unstable in the amount of emotions inside of him. They felt like positive emotions now, but they were overwhelming. It hurt how much he felt for this beautiful boy shaking with tears in his arms.

 

It took Mark a few minutes to calm down, but Jackson was in no hurry. It was worth the wait when Mark backed up to look at Jackson's face, tears still in his eyes but such a happy expression in his face. The smile he wore was a sincere one and though his eyes were red and his cheeks were wet, he was so, so beautiful.

 

Jackson felt Mark raise a hand to his jawline, tracing it down to his lips, resting his fingertips there before talking, the tears he had cried making his voice rough.

 

“Jinyoung?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

It was so good to hear Mark's silly laugh.

 

“God I hate that guy.”

 

“Yeah, I know, me too. We should buy him a fruit basket or something, it would've taken me so much longer to get my shit together without him.”

 

If he could spent the rest of his life making Mark laugh, it was a life worth living.

  
  
  
  
  


When it was Mark kissing him, it felt right.

 

When it was Mark’s beautiful body twisting under him, it wasn’t nice. It was amazing. Short fingernails were scraping down Jackson’s back as he moved in and out of that gorgeous tight body he had been wanting for a long time now. The sounds Mark made underneath him were the best music he ever heard, and Mark was more vocal than ever in bed.

 

And when Mark whispered “I love you” on the skin  of his collarbone, it was all that he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> It's difficult to write endings. I did not want to get too descriptive.
> 
> I wrote this in a very different style than SN&SM, and in Jackson's POV just to see what that was like. I enjoyed this piece a lot and I liked the way the story flows much quicker than in the very descriptive and heavy style of storytelling I used in SN&SM. Did you like the way I described things in this piece? Any comments or critique? Did I leave something unclear?
> 
> Idk I like Jinyoung best in both of my stories so far. I really love his bitchy character, it's so much fun to write. I really loved the Jinson friendship in this piece.


End file.
